Keep Calm and Carry On
by remuslives23
Summary: With Jack gone, Ianto tries to pick up the slack.


'You're not Jack, you know.'

Ianto Jones glanced over his shoulder, his eyes falling on Gwen Cooper. He sighed quietly to himself as he noted the intractable woman's determined stance and the stubborn set to her jaw.

'I'm aware,' he said with a weak smile. 'My coat's not nearly as swishy as his.'

Gwen clicked her tongue in annoyance and ignored his pitiful attempt at avoiding the coming conversation. 'You could have been killed today, Ianto.' She narrowed her eyes at the stark white bandage that was wrapped around his forearm, concealing the worst of his latest injuries. 'You can't keep doing this.'

'Tosh was in harm's way...'

'Tosh doesn't need you flinging yourself in front of her,' Gwen snapped, accent thickening as her voice deepened with anger. 'She's a trained field agent and is more than capable of looking after herself.'

She took a breath and visibly attempted to rein in her emotions. 'Ianto,' she said, with deliberate calm. 'You need to stop this. I... _we_ are all worried about you. Since Jack left, you've been... not yourself.'

He raised an eyebrow, and she hissed in frustration. 'Fine,' she spat. 'You're self destructive. You take stupid risks, make dangerous decisions and, one day, you're going to get either yourself or one of us killed.'

Ianto's jaw tensed but he kept his face carefully blank. 'Are you done?' Before she could answer, he turned back to the files he'd been organising. 'Because I've got more work to do before I can leave.'

'And are you actually going to go home tonight instead of sleeping in Jack's bunker?'

Pain and anger darted through him like quicksilver and his composure slipped. 'If you let me finish this, yes,' he retorted, slapping the file labelled _White,_ _Kerrin_ down on the desk with a loud _thwack_ and spinning around to glare at her. 'How about you worry about your personal life, Gwen, and let me do the same with mine?'

There was a long moment of silence and Ianto thought that she might just let it go then she whispered, 'I miss him too, Ianto.'

Ianto froze. 'I... I don't...'

Gwen approached him slowly, stretching out her hand to lightly touch his good arm. 'We're all lost and trying to fill the space he left behind, but not like this, Ianto. You're going to get hurt and we _need_ you.'

'Jack told me that,' he muttered, closing his eyes. He suddenly felt old and so very tired and the words fell from his tongue before he could censor himself. 'Said he needed me. He's a bastard liar.'br

'You loved him, didn't you?'

Gwen's voice was dripping with well-intentioned sympathy and he couldn't stand it, didn't want it. 'Didn't we all?' he said evasively, attempting to inject some nonchalance into his words. He failed miserably, though, and sighed, bracing himself for her pity before he opened his eyes.

Gwen was smiling that smile she used when trying to put a positive spin on the end of the world. 'I guess,' she persisted,'but it was different with you, yeah?'

'Not really,' Ianto said, grimacing as he heard the bitterness in his voice. He shook his head as he sat on the edge of Jack's desk, mindful of his bruised ribs. 'The only difference between me and the rest of you is that I got to fuck him occasionally.' He smiled ruefully. 'And, as much fun as that was, it doesn't make me particularly special if you believe the rumours about his lack of scruples when it comes to his bed partners.'

She frowned. 'I saw that kiss, Ianto,' she argued. 'That wasn't a kiss you give someone you're just fucking.'

'Don't,' he said roughly. 'Don't say...'

_Don't give me hope._

'You do miss him, don't you?'

'Every damn day.'

His voice finally broke, and Gwen's breath caught. Ianto bit his lip, turning his face away as his chest ached with loss and loneliness so acute that he couldn't hide it any longer. He didn't want her to see how much Jack had hurt him. He'd been a fool, but he still had a modicum of pride.

Gwen's small but strong hand closed around his, squeezing gently. 'Okay,' she said shakily then she sucked in a deep breath and squared her shoulders. 'Where do we go from here then?'

Ianto shrugged. 'We take it one minute at a time,' he said. Her quiet strength put the steel back into his own spine and he lifted his head. 'We do the best we can to keep Torchwood running and the Earth safe.'

'But no ridiculous heroics,' she said firmly, still gripping his hand. 'We're all in this together, okay?'

Ianto smiled his first real smile since Jack had run away with his Doctor and linked their fingers. 'Yeah,' he agreed. 'Together.'

fin.


End file.
